Etiquette Experts Advise on What Should and Shouldn't Be Said in Group Chats

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Etiquette Experts Advise on What Should and Shouldn't Be Said in Group Chats


Sometimes (okay, a lot of times) we just can't be bothered to send long messages that we end up answering with one-word replies in chats. There are also times that words couldn't come to us, so we just express our thoughts through emojis.

These may seem like harmless gestures, but they're actually quite rude, according to etiquette experts.

Debrett's, a 250-year-old etiquette company, teamed with up Facebook to develop a guide to digital messaging. The guide was created using a study led by Facebook's Messenger and their work has led to some thoughts on what we should and shouldn't say in the group chat, reports The Mirror, a British national daily tabloid newspaper.

For instance, the guide advises against sending one-word messages or using a single emoji since it looks "curt" and might make the sender seem "too busy or uninterested" to hold a conversation.


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It also said to avoid sending multiple messages—about four or five—all at once. Instead, just send the thought over in just one message.

"On a group chat, sending several messages at a time looks domineering and can be confusing for other members playing catch-up on the conversation," the guide states, as per The Mirror.

"And if someone leaves their phone unattended for a few minutes, only to return to 27 new messages, it's hard to resist checking what all the excitement is about."

Other unintentional mistakes are gossiping and ghosting.

Debrett's encourages people to refrain from talking or telling others in a group chat about private information—especially if that person is part of the chat—as this could make the individual feel "exposed and embarrassed."


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It's best to end a conversation with a "brief, polite explanation" instead of just suddenly disappearing, the etiquette company added. If it's someone you're dating Debrett's say you should gather the courage to either give the other a person a call or meet them than to leave them hanging.

Messages should also be replied to promptly, according to the guide. If that isn't possible, then make sure to turn off the read notifications so that the other person doesn't know their message has been seen. The etiquette company also advises to wait a day before asking someone to reply unless the message is urgent.

"Bugging someone for a response after only a few hours is inconsiderate and puts the other person on the defense," they said.