Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids

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Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids

 

Children are a blessing. They bring joy, hope, and fun, which is why a lot of married couples wish to have children as soon as they can. However, can also be a source of stress for parents out. They will say and do the darndest things that at the least will irritate adults or give them headaches at the most. But, all of these are a part of their development and growth. 

Parents have the responsibility to teach and guide their children. As they go through this journey, they also need to realize that there are certain inappropriate things to say to their children that they need to avoid at all cost. 

 

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“What’s wrong with you?”

According to RedBook, an American women’s magazine, this phrase might be okay if the tone is compassionate, but problems can arise if the parents use this to their child when they are annoyed or angry. Karyl McBride, Ph.D., L.M.F.T., a licensed marriage and family therapist, explained that when the child gets this question from a person they trust the most, they have the tendency to internalize and believe it. 

Keep in mind that children are still learning how to live, and there is nothing wrong with them if they commit a mistake. 

 

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“I don’t know how we’re going to pay the bills”

Parents have a responsibility to provide for their children. This is why having planned parenthood is a must before committing to one. When times get rough and the family encounters financial difficulties, parents must not let the little kids be involved. These are things they are powerless about. 

Instead of letting them hear you rant about the problems about the family budget, use this situation to teach kids about being thrifty. Too much information about financial troubles is a heavy burden for kids to carry and it could make them anxious.

 

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“Practice makes perfect”

Parents only want the best for their children, but sometimes, they commit the mistake of pushing their children too hard in the process. This can make the children feel a lot of unhealthy pressure that might have a negative effect on their behavior. There are cases where kids beat themselves up as they wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” They believe that if they commit mistakes, it means that they are not doing well enough. 

Parents should practice using words that are both encouraging and assuring at the same time. This can help the children gain their self-esteem as they try to excel in different things. 

 

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“You’re Okay”

Admitting that they are not okay is actually good for the children. When the child feels upset, it is advisable not to dismiss their feelings and say that “everything is okay.” Parents must make sure that they are validating what the child feels since it is their job to help them understand and deal with their emotions, not to repress them. 

Jenn Berman, Psy.D., author of “The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids,” said, “Try giving him a hug and acknowledge what he’s feeling by saying something like, ‘That was a scary fall.’ Then ask whether he’d like a bandage or a kiss.”

 

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“I’m just going to leave you here then”

Children can be very stubborn at most times, but this doesn’t mean that you should threaten to leave them. It is a common mistake that some parents commit whenever their child doesn’t want to follow their orders in public or at someone else’s house. Parents don't realize that this can make the child feel less secure around them. It will also make them think that you will not be able to protect them.

 

 

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“Don’t eat that or you’ll get fat”

When it comes to getting kids to have a healthy diet, it is more important to focus on the benefits and good taste of the food. Parents should not rely on threats about getting fat because it will just create a negative self-image on the child that they can carry until they grow up.

 

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“I’m disappointed in you”

Lisa Cavallaro, the author of “No More Drama: How To Make Peace With Your Defiant Kid,” mentioned that these words are so often spoken to kids whenever they commit a mistake. Understand that they are already feeling bad about what happened, and uttering these words will just make their feeling worse. 

 

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