|Insecure people live differently abd they have a different approach to life compared to others / Photo by Lightfieldstudios via 123RF|
There are people who do not like who they are and are not comfortable with themselves. They are constantly unhappy about the world and themselves. Lack of self-love is sometimes a result of a dysfunctional family.
If you do not love yourself, you end up doing things that will bring harm to yourself. Self-sabotaging actions will prevent you from getting and experiencing the love and happiness that you deserve. You hurt not only yourself but also other people around you. If you hate yourself, it will show in your health, career, and relationships with others.
Here are some signs that you are insecure about yourself:
Trying hard to make others like you
When you are not wallowing on your self-hate, you make sure to make others happy. When you do not love yourself, you will always require approval and appreciation from other people. It is hard to understand and imagine that someone will disapprove you. Becoming aware of this is a good start. Be aware that you are a people-pleaser and that you need to end it. You will soon be able to stand up on your own.
Trading on sexuality
According to April Masini, a relationship advice expert, “Some insecure people trade on their sexuality. They feel that offering sex or sexual favors will make people want them. By creating that desire, they feel favored and accepted, which offsets their insecurity.” Going to bed with someone before knowing them is not a good way to start a real relationship because honesty is being set aside. This is actually a way of trying to hide who you are. You believe that by doing this, you do not have to worry about being rejected.
Cannot say no
You are always present for the people whom you care about. You always want others to be happy and you want yourself to be always pleasant. A sign of insecurity is that your life is driven by the needs of other people.
Feelings of unworthiness
You feel empty inside and you spend your days trying to get noticed. Your days are spent wanting to be liked by others and pleasing others. If others do something that is not to your liking even if they are not aware of it, you become highly offended. You do not believe that you deserve the best in life or to be loved by others.
|If you do not love yourself, you end up doing things that will bring harm to yourself / Photo by Antonio Guillem via 123RF|
An insecure person will always show off that they are smart. They like to point out what's wrong with others and disagree with a lot of things. Remi Alli, JD, MS, a legal scholar certified in alternative dispute management, said, “An insecure person may have the inability to accept another person’s point of view.” The desire to be always a know-it-all makes others feel insignificant and the insecure person feeds on putting others down.
How to get over insecurities
Insecure people live differently. They have a different approach to life compared to others. This can prevent growth and affect the quality of life. Once you have come to acknowledge that you have the qualities of an insecure person, you can slowly change for the better. Here are a few effective ways to overcome insecurity:
Write the things you fear
Writing down your fears is a helpful step because it just might give you a fresh perspective when you have let the thoughts out. Writing down your fears allows you to read them instead of thinking about these things inside your head.
Take stock of your fear
Decide whether your fear is warranted or irrational. Think about what you fear and which among them can you let go and those that you can improve. Knowing your fears will help you feel more secure.
Have you ever given good advice to others but cannot follow your own? When you are faced with your insecurities, you cannot get past the obstacle. The best action to do is to look at your situation and assess it in an objective manner. If the situation is your friend's, what advice will you give? This will make you think more objectively instead of following your fears.
Instead of hating yourself about some attitudes or characteristics that you have, ask yourself if there is something that you can do about it. Lifehack.org suggests that you pay attention to the things that you can change. If you are worrying too much about little things, start reminding yourself not to worry a lot and turn things into a more positive note.
Comparing yourself to others will surely lower your self-esteem. If you try to compare everything with someone and think that they are better than you, think again. They may not have it easy too. For all you know they also have their own problems that you are not aware of.
Be in the company of good people
Surround yourself with good friends who will boost your self-esteem and give you encouragement. Try to be with positive people who will support you during your ups and downs.