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The Emotional Horrors of Encountering Emotional Vampires and How to Counter Them

Emotional vampires suck in the positive vibrations of people they come in contact with / Photo by Dontcut via 123rf

 

Vampires in folklore have been known for sucking the blood out of their victims. In the same way, as stated by Elite Daily, emotional vampires, also known as energy vampires suck the life force out of the people they come in contact with. They are individuals who not only drain other people’s emotional energy but also their physical one as well.

Learning Mind says defines emotional or energy vampires as people who suck in positive vibrations which results in making others feel stressed, frustrated or worried without any reason. Anyone can be an emotional vampire, even one's family members and friends.

 

Signs that One Has Come In Contact With an Emotional Vampire

According to Psychology Today, a person can recognize that they been in the presence of an emotional vampire if after talking to a person, they suddenly feel a bit sleepy. After being around that person, they may also feel that their mood has suddenly plummeted and has sunken low. They may also crave for comfort foods and carbs after being in their presence. Upon meeting the individual, they tend to feel negative. They soon feel depressed and anxious. Lastly, they feel bad about themselves after being near them.

Types of Emotional Vampires

Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist who is part of the UCLA Psychiatrist Faculty, says that there are five kinds of emotional vampires. These emotional vampires are unhappy people whom she describes as “driven by insecurity and weakness.”

The “poor me” victim

This type of emotional vampire assumes that the world is conspiring against them. They want others to save them. They also need others to constantly listen to them rant and pity them. If a person suggests a solution they will always reply with “yes, but…”, implying how in some way that would not address their problem or alleviate them from their woes.

To counter this, one must spend less time with the victim. They should end conversations with them earlier to prevent themselves from getting entangled with their self-pity.

The Narcissist

The narcissist wants to be the center of everything. They have a high sense of self-importance and entitlement. They desire to have everyone’s attention and have a dire need to be admired.

They always put themselves first before others. They do not have empathy and they struggle with providing unconditional love.  Often they are attractive and intelligent.

To be able to shield oneself from the narcissist, they can appreciate their good features, however, they must also establish realistic expectations. Since narcissists always prioritize themselves, getting mad at them or mentioning what one needs will not have any effect on them. Instead, they must explain how their request will also benefit them.

 

Narcissist people follow the saying "i, me, myself first" motto before others / Photo by Prazis via 123RF

 

The human roller coaster

This kind of emotional vampire tends to be unpredictable. One moment, they may act all nice treat a person as if their the most wonderful friend they have. The next moment, they become all aggressive and suddenly yell at them and embarrass them like they are their worse enemy. Since it is hard to tell how they will behave and react, people tend to be extremely careful when they around the human rollercoaster.

If they must interact with the human roller coaster, they must set boundaries and use a solution-oriented approach. It would be best to refrain from having to face them. They should also remain neutral and not pick anyone’s side. When they are enraged, they should not look at them. When they are being emotionally harassed, it would help if they imagined a shield surrounding them.

The control freak

For every topic and situation, the control freak always has something to say about it. They believe that they know what everyone needs and always wants to be the leader. They also have a very strict sense of right and wrong.

To protect oneself from the control freak, they should not let themselves feel threatened or intimidated. Rather, they must confidently assert their needs and not be afraid of speaking up.

The Criticizer

The criticizer thinks they have all the right to judge and put others down. Their ego gets boosted when they put others to shame and make them feel inferior.

A criticizer’s need to make others feel inferior does not have anything to do with the person being criticized. They should not take any of their criticisms personally. Instead, respond to their remarks in a straightforward way. Thank them for any criticism that has been helpful to them.

Avoiding Emotional Vampires

It would be ideal to be able to stay away from emotional vampires. However, in some instances, it can be hard to do so. If for example, they are forced to interact with a particular emotional vampire, for example, a family member, they must be able to set clear boundaries. They must express what they like and dislike as well what subjects or behavior makes them feel uncomfortable. Explaining one’s limits helps their voice get heard and keeps them from being manipulated.

If an individual’s presence impacts their life negatively, despite how hard it can be, it would be much better for them to leave. If they stay, this may cause them to lose their motivation and become unhappy for the rest of their life just like them.

 

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